Gotta Have It:

This one is a little backwards, because I am actually against umbrellas, and vehemently against oversized umbrellas. So I don't actually want anyone to buy this, but it's worth knowing that something so ridiculous exists. If you do decide to pick one up, use it while you can, because once Josh Greene (my old college roomate) becomes president (or supreme overlord, etc.) anyone carrying an umbrella will be entitled to one free punch in the face.