Monday, August 15

It Had to be Said Archive

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"The bottom line is steroids is something you stick in your butt- period."
-Gary Sheffield

"I'll take 14 out of 15 any day of the week, any week of the month, any month of the year, any year of the century. I don't know what comes after century."
-Shaquille O'Neal, on having his team's 14-game winning streak snapped

"I don't really care about all this stuff. I really don't. I don't owe anyone a response to anything."
-Barry Bonds, graciously accepting his 7th MVP award

“That's just about the best thing you could have told me”
-Devin Hester, upon hearing about his 100 speed rating in Madden 08

"All of them except for the one whose name rhymes with Manseco."
-Simpsons producer on working which MLB players were easy to work with

"Right now, I really couldn't care less about China, or any place else. Cincinnati, that's the only destination I'm really concerned with right now. I don't really care about anything else right now. That stuff is so far in the future that I don't know if China will be there a year from now."
-Bill Belichick, on going to China next preseason

"I'm firm with these guys. If you're sitting close enough, I'm hard on them. But they know I love them. They know I love them and I care about them, so I can treat them like I would my own son. I can grab them at times. You're not supposed to grab them? I do. I kiss them at times. What? Oh, I kiss their sweaty faces. I won't kiss them on the lips, because that's a little bit too much. But I'll kiss them on the face or on the forehead. Especially if I really ram them. I'll walk over and say, 'You know I still love you.'"
-John Calipari, coach of University of Memphis men's basketball

"I have to be assertive, and if the ball doesn't go in, it gives us a good rebounding opportunity."
-Kobe Bryant

"I definitely could see a top corner like Champ Bailey making a successful transition to the AFL."
-Merril Hoge

"Satan, take your hands off this team!"
-Evangelist Carol Thomas, leading a prayer before a Hornets home game

"These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it."
-Charles Barkley

"There’s a lot of women here.I’m going to try to throw that fishing pole out there and see what I can get. As long as I don’t get a tire…or a boot."
-Gilbert Arenas on the girls in Vegas

"Great conversation shooter. I heard he’s going to wear a hot pink jacket. I mean, that’s a nice color to come in second, third, fourth or fifth in."
-Gilbert Arenas' scouting report on Damon Jones

"He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm no recluse”
-Mike Tyson

"In a basketball game, for someone to grab your nuts...I just got violated"
-Chris Kaman

"Trying to hit him was like trying to drink coffee with a fork"
-Willie Stargell on Sandy Koufax

"We're really excited about what we think he can bring to our locker room"
–Toronto Argonauts Coach Michael Clemons on Ricky Williams

"Barry and Jose, sittin' in a tree, J-U-I-C-I-N-G"
–T-shirt

"If you need one yard, I'll get you three. If you need five yards, I'll get you three."
–Leroy Hoard, former Minnesota Vikings running back

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."
-Mike Tyson

"Major League Baseball has turned into a badminton league."
-Jason Kendall, after being suspended for charging the mound

"I'll be sad to go, and I wouldn't be sad to go. It wouldn't upset me to leave St. Louis, but it would upset me to leave St. Louis. It's hard to explain. You'll find out one of these days, but maybe you never will."
-Brett Hull during his St. Louis Blues days, on a possible trade

"I'll repeat what I said before in prior interviews and in the press tour, is I want to stop his heart. I not only want to stop him, I want to stop his heart or detach his retina, one of the two. I really want to do damage to him."
-Ricardo Mayorga on Oscar De La Hoya

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"I have no respect for him. I think he's a pompous, arrogant individual."
-Raja Bell on Kobe Bryant

“Growing up in an urban environment, a brother likes his Cadillac”
-Cris Carter

“I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher. He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got 11 letters. Is that a big enough name for you ?'"
-Eddie Eichorn, White Sox owner

"You take all the fat kids, and you take the ones who can run, put them on the defensive line, and the ones who can't, they play o-line"
-Andy Reid

"He wasn't on fire. He was just excited he got to shoot in a game."
-Charles Barkley on Iguodala's All Star Performance

“You understand that you’re completely insane”
-Tony Kornheiser to Mel Kiper Jr

"Get on me Burt, I can't lose"
-Eddie Felson

"It's just weird because, I don't know, I used to hit for a half-hour and then go eat Cheetos the rest of the day, come out and drill forehands...and I miss my Cheetos."
-Andy Roddick

“Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the same today."
-Murray Mexted, Sky TV Rugby Announcer

"Spencer's running across field calling out, 'come inside me, come inside me.'"
-Murray Mexted, Sky TV Rugby Announcer

"I can tell you it's a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through."
-Murray Mexted, Sky TV Rugby Announcer

"There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside"
-Murray Mexted, Sky TV Rugby Announcer

"I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him"
-Murray Mexted, Sky TV Rugby Announcer

“I don’t know what cheating is. I don’t think, I don’t know if cheating, if steroids are gonna help you in baseball. I just don’t believe it.”
-Barry Bonds

"He knew he wasn't going to play for the Dominicans; he's not a Dominican!"
-Ozzie Guillen on Alex Rodriguez

"No mascots on the field. Shoot anything that looked like it escaped from Sesame Street."
-John Kruk, on how to improve the game

"They can do whatever they want. I'll still be eating steak every night."
-Von Hayes on Philly fans booing him

"I took a lot of time before here to just chill and relax and did a lot of yoga and ate a lot of organic food"
-Hannah Teter after winning Gold in Women's Halfpipe

Brad Nessler: "The lady that serves me coffee at the all-night diner by my house has got a better mustache than Adam Morrison. It's not the best mustache I've ever seen."
Dick Vitale: "Boy, I'll have to go down to that diner for a cup of coffee!"
-Dick and Brad during the Gonzaga/Stanford game

"If I were on the other side, there would be no way I would have been able to be in that game without six fouls."
-Jordan

"Figuratively however, the coach formerly known as the Zen Master must now be considered my bucket boy."
-Mark Cuban

"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."
-Mike Tyson

"I know a lot of people did a lot of heavy lifting to make me successful and I do everything in my power not to screw it up."
-Charles Barkley

"In some way, Jerome (Bettis) has touched every person on this team."
-Hines Ward

"Now we can start playing ball"
-Knicks player to others after Larry Brown was ejected

“How long have you been surrounded by thugs?”
-Question to Ray Lewis before Super Bowl XXXV

"People are expected to do X-Y-Z things...but I don't do X-Y-Z things. I'm Darrell Jackson, you know? I went to Florida. Nothing was ever given to me. I'm D-Jack."

"No comment."
-Michael Jordan, after being asked for his response to making the All-Interview Team

"We will be there, but I would never have thought I would have to answer that question…that is if [the Americans] don't start in on messing around with not giving the visas, or if they go crazy."
-Fidel Castro

“I’m not talking about a lot of nice things on my album.”
-Ron Artest

“I’m married with four children. I don’t care what people think about me. I’m in the hood every summer. I’m like the king of the hood. Nobody does it how I do it. That’s pretty much it man. I’m a regular dude.”
-Ron Artest

“If you want to totally be Ron Artest for they day, you have to get my new sneakers…they ain’t no basketball shoes because I don’t care about being a basketball player.”
-Ron Artest

"The team we have, we're going to be competitive…Are we going to win the division? No."
-Phillies GM Pat Gillick

"It's kinda suspicious because of its close proximity to the game, but he doesn't know if it was related to his duties as a referee, his job as a high school principal or if it was a random act of mischief"
-Lt. Thomas Wells on a brick thrown through Pete Morelli's window

"I had orders"
-Shaq, on why he shook Kobe Bryant's hand

"Let's just say we had some problems in protection."
-Peyton Manning

"We've been talking about that the last couple of years. He basically said, 'Find your own.'"
-Brad Childress, on taking assistant coaches with him to Minnesota

"I watched her do things that are just not possible for a cow."
-Rancher Del Morris on his cow that escaped slaughter and led police on a six-hour chase

"I don't know what I did. Oh, it is still bleeding. I haven't got the slightest idea."
-Joe Paterno at a press conference, in response to 'What did you do to your finger?'

“I think with Iverson, he was so gangsta where he wouldn’t have made as much money selling music and people in the NBA didn’t like that. And with Kobe, a lot of people just don’t like Kobe.”
-Ron Artest

"I'm a student of the game. Answer the question, holmes.
–Kenny Mayne's six-year old daughter to Michael Strahan, after asking why Brett Favre laid down for his record-breaking sack

"It was the most difficult decision in my life - except the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax"
–Arnold on his decision to run for Governor

"I thought it was a classy game. Nobody could stop anybody."
-Mack Brown

"It's always nice to get interviewed by someone from Ohio State who can speak english."
-Joe Paterno to Kirk Herbstreit

"Of all the guys I've worked with, you've been one of them."
-Paul Maguire to Joe Theismann

"If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out."
-George Brett

“This is going to be the greatest celebration of all time, man...I actually use an animal."
-Chad Johnson

"I don't know Jose. I was better than Jose now and I've been better than Jose his whole career. So I don't have anything to talk about Jose."
-Barry Bonds

“There are two things for Brother Harris this week. The bad is, he has to cover me. The good is, he can save ten percent by switching insurance to Geico.”
-Chad Johnson

"A lot of people come up to me like, 'Mike how you done it, how you did it?' I’m telling you in my songs: 90% grind, 10% sleep."
-Mike Jones

"He needs to give that team a Bible. Only God can help them. They're terrible."
-Charles Barkley, on the 2005 Lakers

"Have you kicked a wolverine today?"
-Bumper sticker

"He made a really nice play. He kind of squatted a little bit. I tried to stick it in there"
-Mike McMahon

"Embarrassing may be a good term for it"
-Jevon Kearse

"This one may be the worst because No. 1, it was Minnesota; No. 2, it was at home; and No. 3, it was Minnesota again"
-Green Bay defensive end Aaron Kampman

"We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."
-Charles Barkley

"I said I'd cut my balls off if we won."
-Rugby fan Geoffrey Huish, who performed the impromptu self-surgery after his beloved Wales recently beat world chamion England. According to "The Australian, " he then put them into a bag and took them to his favorite social club. He then collapsed from blood loss, and is now in a psychiatric ward.

"If I was you, I'd be excited for McMahon"
-Dave Mellet, co-worker

"I brought two innovations to the quarterback position. Legs"
-Randall Cunningham

"In high school he played center, but I don't think he can play center anymore."
-Pat Gillick on Manny Ramirez

"He's instant offense... on both ends of the floor, I might add."
-Charles Barkley on Cuttino Mobley

"I think everybody was sitting around like, 'Wow, I didn't know this man was this crazy.'"
-Hugh Douglas

"I got somebody, that other guy, who is just as lethal. He's a little bit younger, he got a lot of proving to do, but he's just as lethal. It's my job to make him lethaler, it's my job to make him the lethalest, if that's a word ..."
-Shaquille O’Neal

"You want some? Anyone else want some?"
-Terrell Owens, in his final discussion with the Philadelphia Eagles

"This season is gonna be different. We're committed to winning."
Steve Francis addressing the crowd before their home opener

“They’re like the Jackson 5 without Michael.”
-Charles Barkley, on the Suns without Amare.

"Ain't no power down there, you know? I was headed down South, but when they told me they had no power and a curfew (laugh) ... Edge needs power and Edge don't need no curfew. Edge time is Edge time."
-Edgerrin James on why he didn't go to Florida during his bye week

"If there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that Theo Epstein isn't going anywhere"
-Hal Morra

"It just seems to be that way, that Afro-American kids can run very, very well."
-Fisher DeBerry, Air Force Football Coach

"Did I know it was my 350th win? No. It's nice to hear though."
-Joe Paterno

"What the hell do I know about downloading music? I can't download a jar of peanut butter"
-Joe Paterno

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

"I'm often mentioned in the same sentence as Michael Jordan. You know, 'That Scott Hastings, he's no Michael Jordan.'"
-Journeyman center Scott Hastings

“The first play from scrimmage was muy malo for Josh McCown”
-NFL Films Announcer

"He couldn't throw the ball through a pane of glass"
-Collinsworth on Mark Brunell

“It's called talent. I just have it. I can't explain it. You either have it or you don't.”
-Barry Bonds

"I'm going to continue playing hard and out of control, like a wild animal that needs to be caged in...I'll let the referees handle it."
-Ron Artest, on his return to the Pacers

"I've seen it happen in other places"
-Ed Wade, on making the playoffs

"I don't know if we'll end up with a sexy general manager"
-Dave Montgomery

"I don't think that there was ever a sense that we needed to do anything crazy like... running the football"
-Brad Childress, after the Chiefs game

"It's tough to come up with words to describe how I'm feeling right now. Yikes, Dagnabit...Woah Nellie"
-Hollis Thomas, with the Eagles down 17-0

"I wasn't going to go out like no chump, I couldn't go out [of boxing] on a knockout"
-Roy Jones Jr., After going out like a chump in Saturday's fight

"I ain't got much to say. My hand is fine. I ain't got no excuses. I got no reason for being here but one -- that's to kick ass. That's what I came for. That's all I got to [expletive] say."
-Roy Jones Jr., Breaking his silence before Saturday's fight

"Hopefully I can do better than that"
-Eagles Kicker Todd France, on Simoneau and Bartrum's kicking exhibition vs. the Raiders

"Michael Robinson shows flashes of decision-making ability"
-TV Commentator during Penn State vs. Northwestern

"If I have to chew nails, I think my teeth are strong enough"
-Donovan, explaining his aversion to cortisone shots

"We still got, what, 15, 16 games, 14 games left. So we're gonna keep on ballin." -Dwight Freeny after the Colts week 3 win

"The things I have been through since I came into the NBA, you would not believe how hard it has been…Buying my first house. That was a hardship."
-Kevin Garnett

"Campbell's has taken it to another level."
-Sam McNabb, upon being added to the Chunky Soup team

"Members of Congress, particularly Tom Davis, can walk and chew gum at the same time."
-Dave Marin, Reform Commitee spokesman, responding to Barry Bonds' declaration that Congress should stop its steroids probe

"Defensively, they're like a swarm of bees that's orange.”
-Chad Johnson on his new-found respect for the Browns secondary

"Don't say I don't get along with my teammates. I just don't get along with some of the guys on the team."
-Terrell Owens

"It's nothing that's going to make me go out and buy a Wendy's triple-stacked cheeseburger. I'm not going to buy them any flowers or take somebody from the league out to eat."
-Donovan McNabb, reacting to the $7,500 fine given to Chad Lavalais

"But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
-Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books, 1991

"75 percent of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Smoot."
-Fred Smoot

“You need to have something a little wrong with you to play defense”
-Brian Dawkins

"If you ask me, I believe we should go 82-0 this season," Bonner said with just a hint of laughter. "I'm a competitor. I would like to go 82-0. Realistically that probably won't happen, but last year there wasn't one game that I didn't think we could win heading into the game, and that's not going to change this year."
-Toronto Raptors Forward Matt Bonner

"I am just excited about finally getting a part in 'Days of Our Lives,' not that I was a real big fan of the soap operas back in the day…But, it's a good part, it's special. Tell my kids about it."
-Donovan McNabb

"You know what I'd like to say to everyone stuck there? Loot my house. Seriously, I have a nice house in Destrehan that's full of stuff, and anyone who wants it can have it. Go on in and take my flat-screen TVs and raid my refrigerator. Whatever."
-Joe Horn

"I'd be smart not to comment on that.” – Bill Parcells, upset at that the Giants receive an extra home game because New Orleans is under 8 feet of water

"Today's home run (number seventy), I was just in shock. The chance of hitting a home run off a guy (Dennis Springer) who throws that slow is slim. I just said, `What else can you give me, God? Enough is enough.'"
-Barry Bonds

“I couldn’t really remember anything after that play. I remember calling the reverse on the second play of the game, I think it was. After that, I don’t know what happened. We were on the sideline, and T.J. (Houshmandzadeh) told me ‘that was a good catch.’ And I told him it was, then asked him what happened. T.J. and Carson told me what happened (on the touchdown reception).”
-Chad Johnson


Interviewer: "Chad, how are you doing?" Chad: "I can't be covered. I can't be stopped. I got tickets to the Promised Land. Now what?"

“I’d like an order of hotcakes with sausage. A sausage McMuffin. A large orange juice, and a warm cinnamon roll…Fresh. And can I have a job application. Who says I don’t have life after football."
-Chad Johnson


"There's three things that are certain in life: Death, taxes, and #85 is gonna be open"
- Chad Johnson

"I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok."
- Shaquille O'Neal

Asked about his team's execution during an 0-26 start, Tampa Bay Bucaneers coach John McKay replied: "I'm for it."

"He's gotta wash my car now"
- Expert sharer Jeremiah Trotter on Martin Patterson after lending him his jersey

"He wasn't talking on his cell phone after that play"
- Ex-Eagles Tim Hauck describing a hit on Saints WR Joe Horn

Back with the Niners, Terrell Owens was asked for one word to describe himself. He said "confident." When asked for another word he said "very."

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was one big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback's snotbox. He declined."
- Mike Tyson

"He invited me into the house for a little bit. There he was with his tight little shorts, no shirt and his little red hat. He was doing some farming or something. He was covered in dirt. It was awesome."
- JP Losman on meeting Brett Favre

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