Friday, September 30

Y'all Must've Forgot


This Saturday's fight should be the bookend story on the career of Roy Jones Jr., the man considered by many to be the best pound-for-pound fighter of all time, until he met Antonio Tarver's left hook in the second round of their rematch. After taking a majority decision in their initial 12-round battle, their second fight went according to the James Iddenden theory of boxing rematches: "always bet on whoever lost the first time." If it goes on to follow Ali-Frazier, the greatest boxing trilogy the world has seen, expect Jones to be remember as nothing more than a guy who imitated a rooster back in 2002. I'd love to bet on Jones here, but he's been flatter than week-old soda since that famous knockout. Look for Tarver by unanimous decision, with no knockdowns and a whole lot of jibber-jabber.

Thursday, September 29

Gotta Have It


The must-have Eagles item of the week is this beautiful minnow lure. It's so perfect I can't even think of anything to say about it. Just look at the picture, go buy one, and enjoy a delicious trout while the Eagles run the ball down the Chiefs' throat this weekend.

Wednesday, September 28

It's That Bad



Philadelphiaeagles.com today confirmed that #5 is suffering from a sports hernia, which he is expected to play with this Sunday, and for as long as he can after that. Team Trainer Rick Burkholder noted that"it is not comfortable. Rest does not alleviate the problem." Donnie has balked at surgery, the only true fix, as it would put him on ice for the next two months or so. Unless this leads to a change in playcalling, I'll put him on schedule to fall into approximately 1,500 pieces at about 10:30PM on Febuary 5th, 2006. On the disaster scale, with Pinkston's injury at a 2, and Rodney Harrison's at a 7, this is about a 29.5.

Tuesday, September 27

Don't Say I Never Gave You Anything

Ghostdini Tony Starks Award: To David Akers, for absoluetly the best 23-yard field goal you'll ever see.

Hello??? Is anyone out there Award: Jevon is cleaning up here on his way to the Milk Carton Lifetime Achievement Award. If he doesn’t turn it around quick it looks like we’ve got another Kevin Millwood on our hands.

Behind the Woodshed Hit of the Game:
Sheldon Brown decimating Justin Fargas on a lazy swing pass. Way to put your back into it Sheldon.

Teddy KGB Award: Brian Westbrook…More coming soon on this

Tina Turner Memorial Award: Who gets hit harder than Donovan? Anyone? This guy gets absolutely murdalized every time he steps on the field. Kudos for not getting concussed yet.

Stealers Wheel Award: To Terrell Owens, who couldn't have looked more comfortable in the middle of the Raiders defense if he had a beer and a smoke in his other hand.

Andy Reid Understatment of the Week: "It's going to be a struggle for David to be able to kick this week, and most likely, he won't do that."

World’s Smallest Violin Bonus Award: Message to Rodney Harrison, what goes around comes around. A decade of cheap shots and trash talk apparently equals a torn ACL, MCL, and PCL. Now that’s a triple-threat.

And the Game Ball Goes to: To the O-Line, the only thing this side of the training room that is keeping Donnie vertical. Obvious mention here to David Akers, but if Donnie gets sacked eight times and Koy has to come in, he never gets a chance to limp on the field with 6 seconds left.

Phun Phact: David Bell

A caller on 610 Sunday said that David Bell "hits left-handers better than anyone in the league." And it's almost true! He's hitting .403 against them, matching that with a robust .197 vs. righties. Sounds ok, except for the fact that he has 402 At-Bats vs. righties, and only 134 vs. left-handers. And get this: we're set to face zero lefties in the remaining 5 games. But he's great with the leather!

Are You Going to Cry All Day Crybaby?


Apparently, what goes around does come around. I know I wont be shedding a tear for Injured Rodney Harrison, who is done for the year with a torn ACL in his left knee.

Saturday, September 24

From the land of Dixie


It's tough down here in the Washington, DC area. After being inundated with Eagles for the past few weeks, not to mention a so-so "wild card race" with the Phillies, I figured I'd come to visit my former home and see a town full of Redskins fever.. or at least a modicum of remaining Nationals enthusiasm.

Instead, on the way to the suburbs on the Metro, I saw hundreds of dejected Nats fans coming home from a crushing loss, and not more than one or two people with Redskins apparel. Normally, I come down here and get countless hours of enjoyment harassing dejected Skins fans, with them obviously holding Super Bowls over my head. But this time they can't even remember the Super Bowls. It's as if the thought of Joe Gibbs coming back and not immediately winning 50 championships was too much for them to handle and they've just given up. It makes you miss a city that constantly shows emotion, albeit horribly negative half the time. We don't really need to talk about the Caps, because unless you're part of the small group of fans that follow that team, you won't hear about them at all. The Wizards will get a little hype later, but DC is a football town.

In summation: go Eagles, the Phillies will fall short, the Flyers will win the cup, Iverson will dunk on Shaq, and DC will still be the worst sports town on the east coast.

Thursday, September 22

Nip it in the Bud


Great piece of writing here on Terrell Eldorado Owens. I have no idea who that dude is. Maybe he helped T.O. pick out his outfit. Maybe he paid T.O. $20 bucks for the picture, then when Terrell saw the shot, complained that he had outperformed the photo fee and took it back. Too bad Drew wasn't there to scream in the poor kid's face and then save a drowning baby.

The Kid Swings a Mean Stick


Get all you can of Ryan Howard this year, because come next spring he'll be hanging out on the pine expressway. If this was the NFL, Thome would have been given the ax back in May; instead, he'll cripple us for the next 3 years. Hopefully it will be Thome, and not young Ryan who is traded for Tanyon Sturtze in December. That trade would be the highlight of Ed Wade's "career." And I don't want to hear any complaining about Thome killing our payroll, because this is baseball and it doesn't matter.

Wednesday, September 21

Runners on Second and Third, One Out....


Inning ending double play. And here's the wildest part: It wasn't the Phillies. Although this sounds like a classic Lieberthal on second, David Bell on third, Ramon Martinez pinch-hitting situation, it actually happened last night to the Padres. I also learned that the San Diego Chicken was never the team's mascot, just a marketing nuisance. For those interested, the play went as follows: Ground ball to first baseman who touches the base (force out), the runner on third stayed on the bag, but the man on second broke for third, putting himself in a rundown. Toss to second baseman, inning over, rally killed.

Around the League: Great Minds, Great Names, Not Much Offense, and One Tough Dude


As if things couldn’t get any worse in Minnesota, victory-snatcher extraordinaire Mike Tice has now taken over the team’s play calling duties. This move should effectively consolidate all blame for the team over the next 15 weeks.

Daunte Culpepper is the newest member in the “what have you done for me lately” club, while “what have you done for me ever” member Joey Harrington isn't even there yet. Each completed 5 passes to players wearing a different color Sunday; only one division (NFC West) had 5 or more picks thrown by all of its QBs combined. Together, Joey and Daunte threw for three more picks than the entire AFC (7).

Champ Bailey came up with a big pick for six against the San Diego Superchargers just one week after separating his shoulder against Miami. Brother boss is proving himself in Detroit (14 tackles, 1 sack), while their brother Ronald has fallen victim to lowered naming standards, never making it out of the Georgia secondary, where he played from 95-97. Two new facts regarding Boss: his given name is Rodney; on the Lions webpage they list this under “Mane Facts.” Awesome.

Hard to decide whose offense looks the worst after week two. Last night’s “Redskins explosion,” which could be better described as “Horrific Zone Coverage by Roy Willams” takes them out of the running. Houston and Baltimore are catching some eyes, but definitely not any passes on their way to 7 and 8.5 points per game, respectively. But what really puts Minnesota over the top is their remarkable 12 turnovers, including 8 picks by Daunte, and it’s unbelievable that he hasn’t fumbled yet. It should be a real clash of titans when they make the trip to Lambeau October 23rd. Had anyone ever described a match-up as weakness vs. weakness?

No huge surprise, just a little one: the Chicago Bears are officially the class of the NFC North. From the start I liked their recipe of strong running and tough defense, but couldn’t have predicted them to put it together this quickly. They won't score a lot, and they won't win pretty, but they'll get nine wins. I thought about checking the schedule and then decided that playing Green Bay, Detroit, and Minnesota twice should be enough. Every Chicago fan should send a thank-you to Mike Tice immediately.

Byron, Byron, Byron. This kid takes some damn licks out there. Good news for Jaguar fans, it looks like he'll take the McNabb approach (Get hit, bounce back with a win) over the David Carr program (Get hit, throw 3 picks). If he ever shortens his tennis-swing throwing motion, he's gonna be super dangerous. Lending Fred Taylor a knee or two wouldn't hurt either.

Tuesday, September 20

That Was a Close One


Checking on philadelphiaeagles.com I quickly glanced at our new kicker and was mortified to see a Bucs jersey, assuming we picked up onetime Buc Martin "Automatica" Gramatica. Closer inspection revealed American Todd France from Holland, Ohio. France did some solid work over in Hamburg suiting up for the Sea Devils. Even closer inspection shows that he's got 7 inches and 27 pounds on Westbrook, but probably lacks some of his quicks.

It Wasn't as Close as it Looked


Looking ahead to Oakland, I am confident the Eagles will slaughter them as they did their counterparts across the bay. Not enough can be said about Randy, and the match up between him and TO will be a popular story among the “experts.” Unfortunately, due to the nature of the wide receiver position which requires both their play to be called and the ball to be thrown to them, TO is primed to have a bigger day than Randy this upcoming weekend. I see Kerry (WE ARE……PENN STATE) Collins to throw more picks than TD’s to Randy or anyone else for that matter. Assuming Trotter waits until the game starts to cross the 45, I don’t think Oakland’s other new offensive “weapon” will have a big day either. We all know the defense is still fuming from the three pointer it gave up against the Niners. 38 – 10 Birds is my prediction for the week.

The Rep Grows Bigger


I don't think it's unreasonable to hold a team like the Niners without a first down.

Here are the recipients of Tim Rattay's 5 first-half completions: Dhani Jones, Brandon Lloyd, Lito Sheppard, Brandon Lloyd, Rod Hood.

Has LJ caught a touchdown without being awkwardly tripped and flopping around like a sturgeon?

Is this going to be one of those seasons like two years ago where we're obviously the best team in the division but aren't in first until week 8, and so we have to hear it from Giants fans for two months, knowing that we'll put 40 on them the first chance we get? (It was the Cowboys last time, and it was brutal)

Saturday, September 17

Cut that Meat! Cut that Meat!: All You Need to Know About the AFC


Watching Freddy Krueger at age 6 scary:
The Pats are still too good. Tom Brady is the first athlete since Jordan that I am legitimately scared to go against. I can't even think about this team right now. I keep having visions of Logan Mankins giving his 2025 Hall of Fame speech.

Casper the Friendly Ghost scary:
The Colts are good. Barbecue sauce on burgers good. But not nearly as good as people think after Kyle Boller and Anthony Wright made their defense look like the 85 Bears, when in fact they're much closer to the 05 Bears. A defense that specializes in speed and missed tackles doesn't cut it in January.

Good teams that are an ACL away from the cellar:
Fans in Jacksonville, Buffalo, and KC have to be looking over their shoulder a bit right now. The Jags and the Bills have all their money on horses with certified grade-A horrific knee problems. And you're out of your mind if you think the Chiefs don't take a major step back if Priest goes down. Mister Larry Johnson can play a bit, but he's not going against Purdue here. At least one of these three will survive to do some serious damage in January.

Run for Cover:
Last week confirmed everything I've been saying about Jake Plummer, and I can't understand how anyone, especially a pro coach, could think that he is a starter in the NFL. Maybe these numbers will help: 3 of 8 seasons with more touchdowns than picks, 54-75 career record, 1-4 playoff record. He's so bad I'm beginning to think that Mike Shanahan is crazy too.

The Raiders are the Rams of the AFC, and if they'd played in the NFC they'd be a playoff team. Here's a fun game; See if any of these names sound familiar: T. Brayton, D. Clark, C. Weathers, G. Irons. Only one of these people is not starting at linebacker for the Raiders. They dropped 8 into coverage against the Pats and looked like a Pop Warner team. I don't think to much of Norv Turner, but at least they don't have Mike Martz to deal with.

The Steelers are done. There's just too much film on Rothelsomething, and their corners can't hold water much longer. The wheels on the bus go round and round the exercise bike while he watches Willie Parker and wonders whose bust they'll put his next to in Canton.

The Tennessee Cap-Casualties should right the ship in about five years when they figure this stuff out. How long until people can accept that Air McNair is only as tough as he is injury-prone?

More NFC Playoff Teams:
The Ravens, Jets, and Bengals could make a real run for it on our side of the fence, but they each have something holding them back this year. Ravens- Even the potential return of Slash has to make you cringe. Jets- Chad's toast, and Curtis is rolling the dice every time he steps on the turf. Bengals- Still one year away, but at least they've given us 85.

Robert DeNiro Sleeper:
Down in Miami, Saban is looking like the real deal. I put a lot of stock into how a coach carries himself, and his undressing of supplemental draft pick Manuel Wright was one of the highlights of the training camp tour. The two things that could put the Fins over the top are their defense (still solid), and Ricky Ricky Ricky. The man was an 1800-yard back, and I don't think his stress-filled sabbatical is going to hinder him any. Here's some parity: They could walk away with the NFC North or West title, but in the AFC, they won't be a top-10 team.

Just for fun:
Let's take a look at Browns, if for no reason other than that it's always fun when a team comes around to spark the old "Hey, do you think USC could beat them" debate. Matt Leinart will give them a boost, but nothing is going to stop them from posting a 1-15 record this year (I have them beating the Bears at home after a bye, and that's about it).

But here's the rub:
We only have to beat one of them! Who cares if they have 7 of the top 10 teams in the league. Let them fight it out in the playoffs while we draw up more screen passes to beat the blitz (in case you didn't get the memo, sending 7 on McNabb has replaced running between the tackles as the #1 way to take us down).

And unless the Pats drop two straight, you won't see me picking against them until the Super Bowl.

Thursday, September 15

Money Can't Buy us a Win


I've been preparing all week to become furious when a fine was levied on Falcons DT Chad Lavalais, and here we go. The NFL sent him a $7,500 bill for his delicious McNabb sandwich, but where's our 15 yards? The fine just reaffirms what we all knew, that the hit was brutal, out of line, and worthy of a nice yellow hanky. In all nine players were fined a total of 35 large on the evening. I swear I saw Dick Bavetta out there in the third quarter.

Even the Blind Squirell Finds a Nut


As promised, here is my weekly column. Due to a lack of personnel change at 3rd base, I am bound by my word to forgo any philles comments and any on the “thrilling” race for the NL wildcard.



“I guess this stuff works.” Jesus Christ Dawkins what the hell did they put in that IV? As a one time marketing major, I would love to suggest a Dawkins Gatorade commercial. If it happens, I want a cut. While I was obviously disappointed in Monday’s outcome, the whole night seemed bizarre from the beginning (we all know what happened) and I’m willing to let it go. I’ll be at the Linc this Sunday prepared for a slaughter, and by slaughter I mean annihilation, and by annihilation I mean blow out and by blow out I mean….well you get the picture.

“What a crazy weekend” “It’s impossible to predict the NFL” “Bad teams can become contenders in one year.” And on and on and on. Here’s another quote we hear Berman say every year. “Boy, week one seems like forever ago doesn’t it?” I wish I was smart enough to say for sure that Arizona is a playoff squad this year, or that the Bucs will jump up and win the South (which could happen by the way). But “no one can predict the NFL” that’s what makes it great, “it’s the ultimate in reality TV show,” and for many it is the best entertainment on television by a long, long way. My point is, that you can’t take too much from week one.

However I do have some random thoughts as I look around the league.

Brandon Jacobs scares the shit out of me. He went in round 5. how the hell did we not draft him. (Well I know why, but that’s another column for another day)

Larry Fitzgerald is the real deal. I watched him and college and I think Braylon Edwards will be right there with him in future pro bowls.

It’s great to see Mister Larry Johnson doing so well. Another guy I would have loved to see in Eagles green.

Until the Pats lose a couple in a row……well, in the immortal words of Billy Madison “He’s good.”

Terrance Mathis blew his knee out yesterday in practice. I really feel for him and hope he has a full and speedy recovery.

I’d like to finish with some more Eagles thoughts and some in-house stuff.

The Falcons didn’t bait Trot on purpose as happens in hockey. The two teams were fired up and a scuffle ensued, not a “brawl.” The ref’s shouldn’t have ejected either player. Along the same lines, I credit Atlanta for beating us, but the officiating was abysmal; just sickening to watch. I hope the league does some serious reviewing of the game and the officials. And I really hope Donovan’s injury doesn’t linger.

That’s all for today folks, I’ll do my best to have another piece out next Thursday. Feel free to email me with any questions, comments, or suggestions; and I’ll do my best to reply in a timely fashion.

Wednesday, September 14

Don't Piss on my Head and Tell me it's Raining


While complaining about the lack of attendance (21,169 on Monday and 24,311 last night) during their "push for the pennant," our lovable losers went out and made a pickup that "isn't here to win ball games." If that's the truth, new Phillies Consultant Scott Palmer should fit in great with the gang Wade and Monty have assembled thus far. His role on the team is to analyze why the Phillies don't get the warm embraces Philly fans reserve for winners like the Eagles and Allen Iverson (when he's not skipping practice). Checking the payroll and then the standings might be a good place to start the investigation. Phase two ought to include some chats with David Bell and Mike Lieberthal. That the Phils have an image problem is not news to me, but I thought we were looking for starting pitching, a centerfielder, a third baseman, a catcher, and a leadoff hitter, while it turns out that the big search was really just for better P.R. How this guy cleared waivers is a mystery to me. All I know is that if getting an image makeover is the plan, we should have splurged and gone after whoever Giambi hired.

Tuesday, September 13

And I'd like to say...that all of the people of the world...are God's children...thank you. thank you.


David Carradine Overreaction of the game: Message to the zebras: Let the kids work it out. Trotter never even threw a punch and sat 4 quarters. Someone give a head-ups to Kevan Barlow for next Sunday.

Claude Lemieux Cheapshot of the game:Chad Lavalais with a helmet to the chest? Don't we call this stuff? I thought Donnie was one of the faces of the game.

Al Harris Memorial Walking Penalty Flag of the game:
To Artis Hicks, flagged for two lovely drive-killing penalties, on a day when 5 needed all the help he could get.

Sandals and Socks Street Clothes Player of the game: To Ryan Moats, who brought about as much to the table as a uniformed Reno Mahe.

Birds and the Bees Precarious Explanation of the Game: To King Andy, for explaining to Trotter that he would have to sit this one out. That's one of the great passing the buck situations, and it's nice to see Big Red step it up and deliver the news.

The Statue of David Player of the game: To Donnie Mac, who doesn't look good enough to just stand in the pocket and take licks. A little scramble goes a long way my friend.

Milk Carton Lost Player of the game: To Jevon Kearse, who was practically invisible for four quarters, other than when his butterfingers cost him a trip to the endzone after a Mike Vick fumble.

And the Game Ball goes to: Brian Dawkins, with a superhero effort that included 8 tackles, a pick, 2 sacks, a forced fumble, an IV in each arm, 2 passes defensed, and no less than 3 instances in which Greenbleeder special contributor James Iddenden asked why we don’t put him in on offense, all in 3 quarters.

I don't feel so well

For all the talk about keeping players (especially Peyton Manning, Mike Vick, and Tom Brady) safe, the zebras really went out of their way to cause some damage tonight. Anytime you have to go to the replay booth before the game, you might have some problems on your hands. And I'm not just talking about the possiblity for Eagles players getting injured, so I'm not going to touch the fact that Donovan took a helmet square in the chest on the opening drive. Brutal work in the fourth quarter when a false start was called 2 seconds after the snap and players were allowed to maul each other on a play that didn't happen. Kudos as well for letting play continue after a timeout by Andy Reid that featured him standing on the playing field talking to the line judge. He must have swallowed his whistle once Vick got off the field.

The Eagles are a team that's designed to score big and win big. But the only way we can achieve this is by playing smart, because an offense that thrives on 5 yard passes cannot be successful facing 1st and 15. A couple of these penalties featuring a WR not toeing up to the line will be handled, but they killed us last night.

3 terrible communication plays between T.O. and Donnie: Early pick downfield where D. Hall watched the ball out of 5’s hand, broke on it early, and T.O. had no shot. Two identical plays with 81 wide right running a go pattern and Donnie throws a comeback, including the final play of the game. I don’t know if these two were hot reads or by design, but this can’t happen.

Good news from the injury report- #5 is still alive and kicking, despite fears to the contrary after taking a complete flogging last night. Dawk tweaked his ankle, but since Burkholder loaded him up with mongoose blood during the third quarter I predict he'll bounce back.

Sunday, September 11

Phillies!

Just kidding. Today they put up those huge numbers that might keep you on the edge of your seat, but keep in mind they're still behind the 'Stros, not to mention letting the Marlins slip ahead of them this weekend.

Also, anyone else notice how the Braves are now 20 something games over .500, without a single big-name offensive player other than Curacao native Andruw Jones? Who could've predicted it?

Rough start for Flyers?

So our two key off-season pickups have gone down for at least two weeks each...Forsberg and Hatcher. A good sign for the start of the hockey season in Philadelphia? Of course not. But take it with a grain of salt. Forsberg may seem to be injured a lot, but when you're one of the more physically dominant forwards in the game, it's tough to stay healthy all the time. And everyone knows how much physicallity Hatcher brings to the game.

That said, injuries never help a team, unless you're talking about a fluke like Maddox going down for Roethlisberger last season in Pittsburgh. While this could give the team a chance to preview some younger talent during training camp, you'd obviously prefer to keep those veterans in the locker room to build chemistry on what could be considered a newly revamped team. Hitchcock will obviously maintain a tight ship, in terms of chemistry on and off the ice, but we'll all be hoping for a quick and healthy return to the ice for Forsberg and Hatcher.

Friday, September 9

Phils Win!


The prank war, apparently. Hall of Fame coach Tommy Lasorda was apparently so fed up he felt the need to write this scathing review. If we could scrape out a win sometime this week, that would really put the icing on the cake. The strangest thing about our lineup is that outside of St. Louis we have the best 2-5 hitters in the NL, and if we didn't give away 12-15 outs a game in the 6-9 spots we'd knock the Braves right off their high horse.

He's not the Best in the Business for Nothing Folks


As this is my fist contribution to the Greenbleeder, I would like to say hello and welcome to all of you readers out there (there’s gotta be at least 10). My name is James Iddenden, I will be writing whenever I get the chance to write a column at first, and then who knows. This article was supposed to be about the NFC and the Eagles, but I want to touch on some other things first. David Bell is NOT a major league ball player, I’ve been saying for years he’s the worst player on the team. I heard a great quote from a caller on 610 tonight. He said that the Phills are basically just brilliant marketing by the Eagles. I can’t believe people still call about the Phills. Just in case you weren’t excited enough about the season starting, just watch a Phillies game. That oughta do it. Fire David Bell, then we’ll talk baseball. Anyway. Let’s get back to the point at hand.

Tonight I watched the 2004-05 Eagles yearbook on espn. It was the first time I got to see it and it was exciting to watch. On the same day that TO “apologized” or whatever you want to call it, it was a half hour full of fond memories, but also of great expectations. Todd Pinkston aside, I think we got better. #5 is in his prime and TO is actually going to play. The defense will be the best or 2nd best in the league this year. The Eagles have every chance in the world to finally win the big one. As the credits finished rolling, the next show began. It was the Patriot’s yearbook. I watched it from beginning to end. Every painful minute, every superbowl INT. Every comment about what a team they are, every brilliant Belichick quip. Why did I watch? I watched because I needed to accept what has happened. I guess last year still hurts. I guess the last 4 years still hurt. And we all know only one thing will make this hurt go away.

I know its brief, but since the site is still in blog format, I think I’ve said enough for now. My goal is to write another, more extensive piece the same time next week, including my thoughts on opening day, my playoff picks, and some random stuff. All I ask is that if you call 610, don’t talk about the Phils. There’s only one thing on the entire mind of Philadelphia, lets do everyone a favor and forget about the jokes at playing Citizens Bank Park.

Wednesday, September 7

It Still Goes Through our House: NFC Preview


East
There’s nothing quite like clinching your division before winter comes and posting an 6-0 division record to tell everyone who wears the pants here. Dallas will surprise some people not from Texas this year by playing much better in the trenches and giving less time for QB’s to pick apart their highly questionable secondary. Parcells will give Julius Jones a serious dose of ‘whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger’ to the tune of about 25 carries per game. Eli will continue to struggle but will woo non-avid fans with some deep ball antics. Why hasn’t there been a Manning Showdown yet?!? I’ve watched them on NFL Network playing golf, riding jetskis, and not getting over a 12 foot wall, and we still can’t get a Colt-Giants game together? It could be the most watched and most lopsided Sunday Night game of the year. Just picture a completely flabbergasted Joe Theismann trying to correct Paul Maguire for the twenty-fifth time after Eli throws into triple coverage? The Redskins may not win four games, but at least Clinton Portis didn’t make the news for “doing something I shouldn’t be doing,” as he predicted at the start of the offseason.
Pick: Eagles by a mile (Although it’s tough to go against Merril Hoge’s Cowboys pick here)

West
The worst division in pro sports may actually be one of the toughest in the NFL just because the four teams are so equally terrible. It is a real shame that the Bills or Jacksonville couldn’t have their playoff spot. Zona is picking up steam as a division hopeful; the bandwagon should make its first unloading after Strahan posts 4 sacks and Kurt Warner’s wife jumps out of the luxury box to play left tackle. I do expect big things from the Rams offensively; they are the Raiders of the NFC. Too bad they don’t play this season, the over under could be about 85. The Seahawks have all the same problems they had last year, and they lost the best receiver in the history of the game to Canton and their best substance-abuser to Minnesota. A gambling defense is passable when you have an offense that will post big numbers, but you just don’t know when the next pick is coming with Hasselbeck back there. Alex Smith, good luck. You’re gonna be on the field soon, and a lot. Just be happy you’re in California. Someone should give him David Carr’s phone number.
Pick: Rams, and at least two teams with a better record don’t make the playoffs.

North
It’s hard to put a number on how much Mike Tice takes away from the Vikings. I’ll say 4, as in the number of games he personally ends up costing them, one of which will come in the postseason, again. I take it personally because I keep a pencil behind my ear, and he’s just going out there and making guys like me look terrible. But still, it doesn’t get any better down the line. The Lions have Joey, who apparently can grow a beard now, which won’t help him any in the red zone. The Packers have Brett Favre, Javon Walker, Ahman Green and absolutely nothing else. I read yesterday that the Raiders will be in twelve 38-31 games and lose 8 of them. Well, the Packers will play ten 42-27 games and lose nine of them. Outside of Chicago I might be one of ten people who enjoys watching the Bears this year, if only because I like teams that run the ball in the cold and play some D while they’re it. They are strong up the middle, with Tommie Harris, Urlacher, and Mike Brown, and on the outside, with Tillman and Ogunleye. On offense, think Miami monday night against Florida State.
Pick: Vikings, not because they are any good, but because no one else can beat them.

South

The Saints could go one of two ways. Either they crawl into a shell, play 16 games on the road, win six, and go home to take care of some real problems or…After reading about Joe Horn and Deuce McAllister taking trips down to New Orleans and talking to the trapped citizens, and hearing how badly they want them to win, just to give them something to smile about, you have to wonder if they can become America’s team, put everything on their shoulders, cruise through the AFC East, post 11 wins, and stay around just long enough to get ruined by Jim Haslett, Aaron Brooks, and whatever wildcard team they have to play on the road. Now that Dave Wannstedt is out of the league, we’re down to about 3 coaches who can single-handedly snatch victory away from their team in the closing minutes (Mike Martz, Mike Tice are the others). My hope is that they can play at LSU, bring a little joy into some people’s lives that are in a bad place right now, and try not to break anyone’s heart in the process. In other words, they better run the damn ball, and Deuce better stay healthy. The Bucs could replace Gruden with the actual Chucky doll and the drop-off wouldn’t be that bad here. This team is old and slow and playing in a tough, run-first division. I don’t have the faith in Cadillac that everyone else has. Regardless, this team just can’t hang anymore. I didn’t like the Falcons last year, and I don’t like them anymore now. Vick cannot read defenses yet, and I don’t think their defense can keep it together for another season. I also don’t expect to see Crumpler coming across the middle as much after getting devastated by Dawkins last year. Here come the Panthers, fresh off of an injury-killed season, minus the league leader in receiving yards. Peppers may break Strahan’s single season sack record, without the help of a Brett Favre naked bootleg. Stephen Davis will run run run until his knee turns to jello (week 12 at Buffalo). And…
Pick: Panthers are still going to win the division because they play a little thing called defense.

Wild Card Teams: Dallas (if and only if Julius holds up) and Atlanta (there’s just no one better at this level; not in the NFC at least).

NFC Champs- Eagles, and it won’t be close

Next- The AFC- Where 9-7 just doesn’t cut it.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.


While you wait for the NFL season to kick off and for another column from the Greenbleeder crew, definitely check out this great list. Darren Daulton is my personal highlight here, but I guess that team just has a lot of sentimental value. Funny, because they never were the sentimental types. This is like when a gorilla sees its reflection in a mirror and just smashes it to pieces. I would have loved a freak hot-dog eating accident by the Kruker though.

Saturday, September 3

Snip Snip


Management made their cuts a day early, with a few nice surprises. Gone are Hugh Douglas and Jon Ritchie, making way for Trent Cole and Bruce Parry. 10 Rookies made the team, including pre-season All-Pro Jeremy Thornburg. The signing of WR Darnerien McCants was also made official. Nothing surprised me so much as the fact that we are going into the season with just 4 defensive ends. I had really bought into the program of rotation and freshness over skill. Oh, and that Mahe made the team.

The cut list:
Hugh Douglas- DE
Dominic Furio- C
Michael Gasperson- WR
Andy Hall- QB
Norm Heuer- DT
Jamaal Jackson- C
Sean Landeta- P
Keyonta Marshall- DT
Martin Patterson- LB
Carlos Perez- WR
Robert Redd- WR/CB
Jon Ritchie- FB
Steve Sciullo- G
Chauncey Stovall- WR
Andy Thorn- TE
Scott Young- G
Aric Williams- CB
Jamaal Green (DE) and Linj Shell (CB) were waived/injured.

I'm Still Not Convinced


But it sure looks like Darnerien is. Personally I think he brings nothing to the team. As usual, I would love to be wrong. He'll be our #4 behind Owens, Lewis, and Brown. Any way you cut it, it's better than putting Billy McNothing out there.

Friday, September 2

Let's end the Week on a High Note


With all the trouble and tribulations in the world, its nice to see someone take a step back and do something positive. That must have been exactly what ex-XFLer and current Panthers RB Rod Smart had in mind this week when he changed his nickname from "He Hate Me" to the warmer "He Love Me." It's just great to see a such a strong dedication to bad grammar and personal naming during tough times, especially considering he'll have to change it to "He Cut Me" after this Sunday's roster pruning.

Thursday, September 1

Thougts from the Game: Preseason Week 4


Even against second teamers, Mark Simoneau still looks awful. Brutal, brutal game.

I really thought Matt Ware wasn't terrible. He is.

Referee called Matt McCoy for a "Takedown" on a kick return.

The Jets picked up a rookie free agent safety by the name of Atari Bigby. He's from Jamaica, and played for the University of Central Florida, who went a solid 0-11 last year. Some teams just know how to find winners.

Moats is very reminiscent of a young Brian Westbrook, although his cutback instinct seems to be superior.

Really looking forward to the day when we trade Mike McMahon to the Dolphins for a second round pick.

Player of the game goes to fifth-round draft pick Trent Cole, who put up a great effort from the defensive end position. About 10 solid tackles including a few nice hits behind the line and a sack. He's everything Jamaal Green isn't.


September 12th
September 12th
September 12th
September 12th

Drove my Chevy to the Levee...


By the time the wake of Hurricane Katrina (whose devastation is much, much more severe than the national media either knows or is letting on) settles, things fall under control, and the totality of the situation is revealed, people are going to be embarrased that they ever worried about Saints vs. Giants on Sept 18. Interesting note: there are three Eagles from Mississippi, and all three are now on the IR. Best of luck to Quinton Mikell, and his family in New Orleans.