Gotta Have It: Touchdown Jesus

With this baby on the tree, just think how sweet the presents under it have to be. This will undoubtedly be the funniest thing in my Christmas tree since my cat Spunky fell in three years ago. This ornament, however, should not be expected to perform any additional functions other than hanging from a branch, and if it is admired by a sufficent number of patrons, a Christmas bonus may be demanded. Purchase at your own risk.