Time to Re-up

Heading into the longest offseason of the century, it's high time to face a few facts that are staring right in the face of our NFC Conference game dynasty.

Our offense does not work
It used to work very very well. Right now it's about as useful as a perforated condom. For a while I was simply biased against it, but now it's clear as day that about thirty two other teams have us figured out, and a healthy offseason is gonna make them un-figure us. This is not a league full of defensive coordinators pissing their pants over a 2 yard dump pass to Reno Mahe.

Neither does our defense
29 Sacks! 24 points per game? Really? Who'd have guessed. This one's a little misleading though, because it's pretty tough to account for how wrong McMahon did this bunch. Try this: 8 games, 8 picks; 3 taken back for 6. That's a solid start. It's pretty safe to say that there weren't too many defenses getting less help this fall.

It might be a little worse than it looks
And it might take a while for the dust to clear. But if changes don't happen this summer, and I'm not talking about 'Artis hicks moves to right guard' type of changes, things will definitely get worse before they get better. And I'm the optimist of the bunch.

Brad Childress is gone
And maybe it's not the worst thing in the world. I've never been sold on him; hopefully it won't be like when the fans chant for Koy and then creak their necks and stretch out a bit before shutting up when he fumbles the snap two plays after throwing a pick that got negated for defensive holding. If Pony ever decides to remake the "Michael Vick Experience" commercial starring Koy, a helmet to the back of the head, followed by the rider going limp to the ground and watching the ball bounce away would cover the basics.

No one gets to the line with less time to audible
And it's all Andy's fault. It wasn't just Donnie being tired; Mike does it, and Koy does it. They look to the sidelines, tap the earpiece a couple times to make sure this is for real, get the play in, can't take two seconds to see Adrian Wilson coming on the overload, and get absolutely laid out, just in time to get up and do it all again. Fun! This has to be fixed, and of the many items detailed here, I've got some serious hope that it might be turned around.

Our player personnel team does not put us in position to take advantage of the new rules, and it kills us.
Paul Tagliabue is begging teams to throw the ball deep and pay big money to loud, obnoxious, unbelievable athletic wide receivers, and we're stuck with Greg Lewis and Billy McMullen. The only guys that don't get calls these days are the old school malcontents like Terry Glenn and rookies. Every other receiver is covered with more flags than the Puerto Rican day parade. Get talent at the edges and put the ball up for grabs. It's that simple.

Maybe it's not worth spending money on the defensive backfield
This is one of the hardest concepts for me to deal with because cornerback is my hands-down favorite position and we are balls deep in talent out here. But if the NFL wants to call plays in the secondary like they're Violet Palmer, then you just have to roll with the punches. If you want to spend money on your defense, the only place worth doing it anymore is on the line; again with speed on the edges; again with loud, obnoxious, unbelievable athletic players.

In fact, maybe it's not worth spending money on the defense at all
And this kills me worse than the previously mentioned. I can't get enough of good defensive football (please mark the difference between this and bad offensive football, which is atrocious). But if the league wants you to score big or die, then you better score big. I can't stand it, but I also can't take to many more 6-10 seasons. If defenses like Indy's can be considered "good" or "great" (not my words), then why bother spending at all. Just pay cheap for speed, zone up, and hope for the best.

The Redskins game was fun
Really, really fun. I had a blast and wasn't sorry about it for a second. I cheered when Moats saved Mike's ass with a pickup on Lavar and I booed when Jon Jansen raised his hands and looked to the crowd for applause. And when John Hall put on his sweatpants and hit the exercise bike. And when Clinton found daylight on the edge. And when I saw a Skins fan after the game. And when I saw a Skins fan on the stairs. And outside of the stadium. And trying to save a Santana Moss sign from getting smashed against a fence...

I can't spell 'athletic'
Of the six hundred times I've probably written it on this page, I've put down 'atheltic' on no less than five hundred occasions. I can't spell 'original' either.

It's still football
And that's worth something. If nothing else, we put a whole bunch of words on paper, and you read 'em. And we appreciate it. Especially those of you who couldn't care less if we were writing about rodeos or ikebana.