This was no Miracle

The dream is over.

Not that there ever was one, really, but it's still over. We couldn't score when we held the other team to less than 5 goals, and when we scored more than 3, we couldn't hold them to less than 3. All in all, an abysmal performance. No one expected anything great, or even good, but I think we all expected passable. Passable is not what happened.

So what does need to happen? We need more Canadians to move to the USA. It's as simple as that. Brett Hull is Canadian, but he became a citizen of our fair country, probably because he felt bad for us. Peter Forsberg, Ilya Kovalchuk, Evgeni Nabokov, we will welcome you with open arms. We don't care if you can't really speak English, and we all know you love it in our country. I'll even mail you the requisite forms. Move to the American suburbs, put your kids in good schools, pay your taxes. Cheeseburgers and french fries will be included.

Just look how we've accepted other foreigners, athletes and otherwise. All Cuban baseball players love it here. The Shah of Iran felt at home. You'll love it, I swear.