Monday, February 6

Introducing: Your Super Bowl Quarterback

Fun fact about me and Big Ben:
1. He's three months older than me.
2. He has two additional years of NFL experience.
3. I threw as many touchdowns, and in fact, two less interceptions than he did last night.
4. At the beginning of the year, I had this to say about Ben and Co.: "The Steelers are done. There's just too much film on Rothelsomething, and their corners can't hold water much longer."
5. Revised as of Feb 5, 2006: "The Steelers can thank whoever they want that they had fate, the zebras, Jerramy Stevens, and 40,000 fans on their side, because Ben's 9-21 with no touchdowns and two picks looks a lot better with a "W" in front of it."
6. I've never been this drunk in my life.


Anonymous said...

Id like to point out that you have absolutely been that drunk in your life. I seem to remember a certain occasion when you drank a half a bottle of gin, tried to tie a sled made of cardboard to a bike using nothing more than your ingenuity and some dental floss, "fell" forward into the snow while taking a piss (with nowhere for the piss to go but all over your pants), took off said soiled pants, went to the bar wearing your long johns and a sweater that you had sewn "dude" onto and went home with someone from whom you later had to steal your phone number back. Now I know that any of these things were just as likely to happen if you hadnt had a drop, but you were definitely making some rothelsomething faces that night. And, unfortunately, your lucky lady looked nothing like Ben's.

Armando said...

whoever wrote that last comment needs to be immediately hired as our full time fact-checker

howard said...

Could not agree more with your analysis of Ben's performance. It's amazing all the faults that get swept under the rug when your team bails you out like that. He choked; the fact that he won doesn't change that.

Hal said...

Thanks for your comment, Howard. However, I wouldn't go so far as to say Ben choked, he just had a really really really bad game. Basically you know there wasn't going on when a wide reciever has the hands-down best pass of the night.

Now if you want to talk about choking, how about the time Eric Snow airballed two straight free throws down 1 with no time left. My throat's getting dry just thinking about it.