Wednesday, February 1

"And tell the cook this is low-grade horsemeat"

In a turn of events which would be absolutely hilarious if it wasn't another reminder that the world is nothing but a place to stick advertisements, Churchill Downs has agreed to partner with parent company of Taco Bell, KFC, and Pizza Hut so that they can bring us the "Kentucky Derby, presented by Yum! Brands." Picture these guys stampeding around the boardroom trying to think of ways to boost taco sales when one genius comes up with the idea of a horse race. "We need something that says quality. Something that says speed and grace. These are the qualities we want reflected in our tacos. I know! The Kentucky Derby! Perfect."

I don't know about you, but nothing gets me more excited to eat low-grade taco meat than watching little men ride around a circle on horses while rich southerners drink mint juleps.

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