You Say Tomato, I Also Say Tomato

How we ever got rid of Jim Thome, I'll never know, and boot in the fact that we got a baseball player in the deal, well... I'm just blown away. Other than this and the Billy Wagner downgrade, management has found time to bring in a few sub-average middle relievers and a utility infielder, so it's just your average offseason here in Philly.

Fact is, we got rid of Ed Wade, the single move which assured a successful winter break. Thankfully we still get to hear residual Wade trade rumors like Abreu straight up for Manny, one of the great laughers of the year. Nothing would beat Aaron Rowand ranging over and stealing fly balls from him like Kelly Leak while Manny listens to Young Jeezy on his sunglasses.

In other non-player movement news, the team has approved plans to move the left field wall back five feet and raise it 2.5 feet up to a height of 10.5 ft, which means Pat Burrell won't be able to stash his dip in the flowers anymore. Tough breaks all around. Tentative plans are brewing to install a ladder so that he might catch a home run or two. Would anyone be against replacing the warning track with a trampoline? Who doesn't want to see Gary Sheffield break a ball over his head after Torii Hunter gets 15 feet of air to rob him of a dinger? Ideas like this don't even seem that ridiculous after watching centerfielders stumble up and down the hill in Houston.