Monday, May 1

Weekend Wrap (Now without Siran Stacey!)

"I can't believe that Godzilla was the only surviving member of its species... But if we continue conducting nuclear tests... it's possible that another Godzilla might appear somewhere in the world again."
Beautiful draft by the birds. They got a silverback gorilla in round one and two guys that will scare the shit out of buffet owners for years to come with their subsequent picks. And one of them got picked up for soliciting prostitution! Next up, cheerleader combine.

"Any man who crosses me knows nothing of Tuco"
As much as I hate Kobe (he's currently #1 on my list ahead of the guy from Citibank on Laguardia) I've been unable to stay away from him lately, causing me to lose upwards of 10 hours a week watching the NBA playoffs (and you thought they were unwatchable). My previous reasoning was that I wanted to be there every time he lost, but it seems that my old desire has merged with my new feeling that every time out there's a pretty reasonable chance he'll do something you've never seen before. For example, passing, or being a team leader, or killing Sasha Vujacic with a sneaker. The real miracle is that Phil found a way to get these guys to play defense and not kill each other while the player formerly known at #8 (nice one, asshole) put up 30 shots a night. At this point Phil could play Terrell Owens at point guard and get 12 assists and 10 boards out of him on 2 of 4 shooting while catching Kobe's spill.

"You can act like a man!"
Lebron, for your own good please cut out this fingernail biting shit. SATs are over, champ.

"My prediction? Pain"
Eagles look poised to start the season with four straight wins as they face Houston (away), Giants (home), San Fran (away), and Green Bay (home, Monday night). No telling where we go from there, here's to hoping it stars with 'p' and ends with 'layoffs.'

"No matter how far out of first we are, it's cool. You know, it keeps us from getting shut out at our favorite hotels and restaurant-type places."
To the Phils, now filling the standings sheet with a robust 10-14. Here's a few prop bets- more Phils wins or Reggie Brown catches? Who makes the first start, Cole Hamels or Randy Wolf. Next home attendance or total franchise losses?

"I'd be a lot better if you beat my legs with these bamboo reeds."
Don't trade Allen. Just don't.

"Big hitter, the Lama"
Congrats to my buddy Josh and his agency on their terrific draft. 22 of 24 players drafted, and they've already got Sheldon Brown in the stable to boot.


x-intern said...

Assuming a win over the giants already? The same giants that beat the eagles twice last year?

There is nothing more pleasurable than watching the high expectations of Eagles fans crumble like TO in a horse-collar tackle.

There is no way Reggie Brown's catch total will be anywhere close to the Phillies' wins. Try the Sixers.

(P.S. I hear Avant ran a 4.7 and a 4.8 40-yd dash. He's gonna be reeeeeal tough to cover.)

x-intern said...

P.P.S check out the trailer for "invincible"

Hal said...

I am definitely assuming a home win over the Giants after losing the last two. I heard Jerry Rice ran a 4.7/4.8 40 at his combine too. I'll take 1/4 of his career.

z said...

x-intern beat me to it. assuming a win over the giants after being swept by the division last year? to quote wilco.. what would we be without wishful thinking.

x-intern said...

WOW! Comparing Avant to Jerry Rice??? Now THAT is wishful thinking.

Hal said...

We're taking down the NFC East and that's that.

I just can't believe there's a Wilco quote on our site.

Dad said...

Invincible trailer is great! The E_A_G_L_E_S cheer featured after Vince's selection may be an anachronism.

x-intern said...

Hal you should definitely try to get invited to the "invincible" premiere.

z said...

also.. wilco kicks ass.