Tuesday, May 9

Quicker Hits

I thoroughly enjoyed the Barry Bonds experience this weekend, certainly highlighted by his inability to get out of the way of a batted ball, then having to walk face first into an ocean of boos, culminating with a hall of fame helmet slam. In addition to going at him with junk low in the zone, then attempting no less than 5 pickoff throws every time he's on base, I am now campaigning that all middle infielders turn two on his ground balls especially when there are no men on base. If he wants to make a joke of the game, it's your duty to make a joke of him.

In other non-record breaking news, on Inside the NBA last night Charles attempted to beat David Blaine's non-record of 7:08 minutes underwater, coming up only 6:44 short before emerging in a giggling fit. Charles did set the record for greasiest head, as the fishtank he submerged his dome in looked like the Prince Edward sound after the Exxon Valdez crash.

There were two separate Owens Cowboys' jerseys seen at Saturday's Phillies game, and all I really have to say to these dudes is, good luck. It may be a month from now, or a year, or two years, but it's coming. And when it comes, don't say you weren't ready. Don't bother to punish the wicked, for through their own actions, they punish themselves.

If you translate 'The Green Bleeder' into french, then back to english, it becomes 'The Resistance of Green Escape.'

Adios, Kobe. Nothing says 'champion' like 4 points in the second half of a game seven. And for everyone who's upset that we lost Raja, think how happy you'd be if we still had him at 8 years, $67 million. Because that's what Billy King would have given him.

1 comment:

z said...

i've made numerous attempts to convince a certain greenbleeder columnist to defile his t.o. jersey and wear that to the homecoming rather than a tim hauck number.