Monday, March 5

King in the Castle

I just threw up in my mouth., in conjunction with a team of (poorly) trained salamanders, has anointed Sixers GM Billy King as the third best GM in all of professional sports. He was edged out by fellow whiz Kevin McHale, who has been running the Timberwolves franchise into the ground for the last two seasons. Forbes' crack team apparently employed methods ranging from dart-throwing to picking from a hat in an effort to come up with the best proof yet that sometimes, the numbers do lie. Not mentioned were the contracts Billy King gave to Dikembe Mutombo ($68 million), Kenny Thomas ($40 million), Brian Skinner ($25 million), nor the fabulous two nickels and a penny for a fifty-dollar bill trade to get Iverson out of town. Highlighted were his shrewd spending techniques (89% of the league average), and team wins vs. his predecessors, John Lucas (wow), and Pat Croce (who drafted Iverson, and was around to suck up the rebuilding losses before King stepped in). Please keep this information away from Ed Snider. Please.

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