Holy $%&!

Stallworth, Stallworth, Stallworth, Stallworth, Stallworth, Stallworth, Stallworth.

Now, we all know that everyone's ratings of the Eagles was probably a tad low. No one thinks they could possibly win the division, and most people have pretty much entirely written them off. Obviously people here in Philadelphia don't really agree with that, but that's, for the most part, irrelevant. Yet, in another bold move by the front office, the Eagles have acquired Donte Stallworth, for practically nothing. Simoneau is a player who was having a tough time getting on the field, and the conditional 4th rounder is worth...well it's not worth a whole lot if you can't draft right.

In my mind, I think this puts the Eagles right back on the map. Sure a nice power back would be a welcome addition. Stallworth will make our whole offense better. No, he's not TO, he's not Chad Johnson, he's not Steve Smith. He is A) Fast as all hell, B) Great with the ball after the catch, and C) Going to draw coverage away from our weaker WRs, which should improve their play. I'm really excited about this, and while I don't think it turns the Eagles into the Super Bowl contender they were with TO, it can only help.

THE RETURN OF MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Ok, the actual football part of the game last night is not at all what I was interested in, even though I secretly root for the Vikings, a little bit.

No, I was more interested in what my main man Tony Kornheiser had to say. And to be honest with you, I wasn't particularly impressed. Not disappointed mind you, but not impressed. We've all seen him on PTI, and maybe you've read his columns in the Washington Post or heard his radio show. But I was very curious to see how he did with live TV that would be watched by millions. We all know how the third man on MNF can shoot himself in the foot (i.e. Dennis Miller's dumbass), but I certainly have more hope for the bald man who doesn't fly. They created a few little segments to make sure he got time on the mic, but for the most part it was Tirico and Theismann (who I don't like at all). But I think he'll get better as the season goes on, and I'm looking forward to it.

Not to mention they moved the starting time up to 8:00 pm, which is great for dudes like me that fall asleep early.

It's Fantasy Land

No, I'm not referring to fantasy football, that utterly horrible, yet oh-so-necessary evil that encompasses most of our lives from now until January. No, I'm definitely not talking about the Phillies chances of making the Wild Card, which is definitely fantasy. I'm talking about preseason football, one of the most horrifically irritating things of all time.

I could waste everyone's time by presenting my opinions on the game, but I won't. I'm not even gonna talk about the first team performance. I will say that preseason football is the equivalent of going on a date with Anna Kournikova, only she has no clothes on, and she refuses to let you pay for dinner, and goes home at the end of the night without so much as a peck on the cheek. It's the worst form of blue balls in history, with the exception of actual blue balls. It's almost entirely unwatchable, and the parts that are watchable are wholly eclipsed by the rest of the crap. And we still have four more games worth.

I'll get back to you in a few weeks.

So close

Seriously, so very, very close.