Thursday, May 3

"Tom" Gordon

Looks like he's gonna have to drop the 'Flash' title after leaving the team for a doctor's visit. Tom has been less than stellar so far this year, with opponents batting a robust .308 with him on the mound. Hopefully the medical staff will be able to remove the chicken bones stuck in his throat and get him back out there in time to add to Barry Bonds' (who my mom called 'Bondy Ronds' this weekend) assault on the all-time steroids home run record.

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