Could I get any more nervous?

With only a handful of games left in both the NBA and the NHL, the playoff lineups are starting to solidify. We all know the Flyers have been playing great and slowly creeping up the list of 8 teams that will compete for the Cup from the Eastern Conference. We all know the Sixers are almost completely inept and are struggling to hold onto that 8th seed as they have lost 8 of their last 10 games. Here's where the problems begin.

As it stands now, you can give up on the Sixers. They're best finish might leave them in the 7th slot, but any way you look at it, they're playing a team that should sweep them in the first round. I never had much hope for them, but it seems like Cheeks is just gonna leave them in the same position that the beloved Jim O'Brien did. Awful.

It seems like the prospects for the Flyers are better, and they are, but don't get too confident. As of now, they're slotted to play Tampa Bay in the first round, and if that happens, I most likely will end up puking due to nervousness. They've been a thorn in the Flyers side for the past few seasons, and nothing's changed. But the other possible matchups aren't really any better. Buffalo could easily beat the Flyers, they had immense trouble with Montreal all season, and the Rangers weren't any easier. So I find myself rooting for the Devils. And that makes me throw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it. I've often said that I hate the Devils more than I like anything, in the world. And it's true, my intensely burning hatred for them is almost indescribable. The goalie controversy (as much as Hitchcock denies there is one) is too much for me to handle, and I find myself just hoping that the first round will be over with and we can all move on. I'm so nervous.

So I'm starting to get pissed...

It's getting down to the wire.
Less than 20 games left.
A few teams have sewed up a playoff spot.

And the Flyers still can't decide on a goalie. They can't decide how to score on a powerplay (or a 7 minute powerplay). They can't figure out how to keep a lead, or regain one. They can't decide how, in Gauthier's case, to fight after getting punched in the head a few times. Honestly, it doesn't seem like there's much they have figured out lately, and after a few horrible losses, Hitchcock is starting to look less like the genius he is, and more like a donut loving doofus.

If you know hockey, you know this team is good. You know they should be a 3 or 4 seed in this conference. But what I know is that they don't deserve much better than a 5 or 6, and probably not even a 7. I know that I'm getting flashbacks to the 94 Stanley Cup, and Hextall and stinking Garth Snow switching every game. That might be the worst part in terms of history, but in real-time, the lead blowing, bad overtimes, and lack of toughness make me scared for this team.

Now there's still time to pull it together, and that "together" better start getting pulled right now.

Diamond in the Rough

Somehow, the World Baseball Classic is actually entertaining. I've been strangely compelled to watch a couple games the last two days, and I'm totally floored by the fact that is watchable. This came as a huge surprise on the heels of a well-boring Olympic Hockey run, and could lead to the eventual U.S. domination of Olympic football (as Troy Polamalu and Lofa Tatupu combine for 45 tackles and 6 sacks in a losing effort for team Samoa). By my account, the WBC (don't worry about that other WBC, no one watches boxing more than thrice a year anyway) has at least 10 things going for it.

1. Players can relate to each other and chase after a team goal other than money and babes
Money and babes are prime motivators, but in the rest of the world (and in America during wars that 75% of the population aren't opposed to), nationalism reigns supreme.

2. Pedro Martinez(ankle)
3. Hideki Matsui(porn)
4. Kazuo Matsui(respect for national integrity/game of baseball)
5. Barry(the truth, now in hardcover!)

6. Junk
After watching two days of world baseball I have come to the expert conclusion that four seam fastballs do not exist in the Latin world, which has made them elevate their game to the extent that they only throw ridiculous 92mph three-feet breaking junk. It's fantastic. Just hide your birth certificates and maybe you can get a scout to believe that you'll hold up for another eight years. Oh, you already lost your records, great.

7. The Cuban Defectors
Judging by quotes from team Cuba, they plan on using some version of the buddy system to ensure that everyone makes it back to the island at the conclusion of the classic. Hopefully they brought along their victory cigars.

8. You can take the tiger out of the jungle...
But when you put him back in, he's a tiger all over again. I've always found it terribly sad to watch great players that you know have tons of charisma wallowing on MLB benches because they can't speak english and hate white men. Well, here's your chance to see everyone in their natural environment, speaking their native language (except for Piazza, more on that later), spending time with a bunch of guys they grew up with. Try to imagine for a second how much fun Tejada and Papi are having with Fatdalis Perez right now. See- you can't. It's not comprehensible. It may even be incomprehensible. I'm confused just writing about it.

9. Completely Insane Fans
Living in America through two Presidents who fought over the big piece of chicken in the same house in Texas has washed away any hope of nationalism that my Grandmother had in store for my sister and I when she marched us around with American flags as five year olds, so it always catches me off guard when I see three thousand lunatics waving Panamanian flags and screaming their heads off. More than anything else I'm envious. It would have been nice to see a North Korea team and watch the fans cheering at gunpoint, but you can't have it all, I guess.

10. Mike Piazza
I'd try and make an argument that someone born in America, lived in America all their life, received their paychecks from American companies, and raised their family in America should play for team U.S.A., but in Mike's case, please Italy, he's all yours. I hope no one tries to steal second on ya'll.

For my money, I'm taking the Dominican's all the way, although it would be nice if they could get Pedro out there for three and a third every fifth day. But then he wouldn't be able to help the Mets find a way to blow it in September.

Fat Monday? Ash Thursday?

Square on the heels of what would have been (and still may be) the greatest salary dump in the history of pro sports, the NFL has extended its free agency deadline until Sunday night. This move will allow teams like Washington and Oakland more time to trim the fat, and give cap-rich teams like Minnesota and your 2006 Philadelphia Eagles time to put on their bibs before they sink into the meatiest free agent class in recent memory. Go here for anyone's best guess at the current cap situation. It is equally likely that this was a P.R. move spurred by league officials who thought that "Bloody Thursday" didn't have enough ring to it. Even more likely, owners and players want a little more time so they don't feel responsible for being the downfall of the most popular sport in America. Here's to hoping a bunch of rich guys can sit down this weekend and come to grips with the fact that the salubrity of a professional sports league is more important than buying a third 250 foot yacht.

Comin around the stretch..

The Olympics are over, as you may or may not have noticed.

With everyone in the NHL having played 56-59 games, there are roughly 25 games left in the season. The Flyers are holding onto the 5th spot in the East, and with most of their players coming back from injuries (save Primeau, who I will get to shortly), they hope to move up and clinch a 2 or 3 spot. The trade deadline looms as well, and the Flyers have always been a team who makes adjustments at the deadline. So who we gonna get??

A short list of possibilities includes one Jeremey Roenick (who we basically rented to the Kings for that classic "player to be named later" AKA himself), Keith Tkachuk of the St. Louis Blues, and Olli Jokinen of the Florida Panthers. I think the clear best move is for Jokinen, by far the best of all available players, with the best contractual side effects. The Flyers have always moved to get playoff-experienced veterans before the deadline, and while Jokinen is young for an NHLer, and has virtually no playoff experience, he's by far the best player, with the most up-side. The point is this: the Flyers will definitely make a move.

The question is can they pull it all together in time for the playoffs. Having lost only 2 more games than the no. 1 team, with the deficit coming in overtime losses and shootout losses, you'd hope that much of the gap between them and the first spot can be attributed to the new end of game rules. Rules that will not continue in the playoffs, where it reverts to sudden death, endless overtime. If they are unable to secure a 2 or 3 seed for the playoffs, they will most likely face a team like Buffalo or Tampa Bay. Teams that are entirely beatable, but will take more than 4 games to defeat, and the NHL playoffs are all about sweeps.

So now we start sweating. And hoping for no more injuries. And sweating some more.

On My (chopping) Block

If you're reading this right now, that most likely means you've found your way to www.greenbleeder.com, as we are having major publishing problems at greenbleeder.blogspot.com (which is why you haven't seen anything new in over a week). Everything is expected to be resolved by the end of the week, until then, please bear with us and let people know where to find the site.

Things are getting completely out of hand in the NFL as I write, and it looks like half the league is about to purge their rosters to get under the $95 million cap ($10-$15 million lower than expected). More than a few huge names are expected to be shown the door as clubs scramble to field squads for '06. Further complicating matters is the looming '07 uncapped year, which has the counterintuitive effect of NOT allowing teams to sign players (especially rookies), because no one has any idea how things will look if and when the cap is restored.

Although this is terrible news for approximately half the league, the Eagles should be able to tread water and pick up a few stragglers here and there. They are reportedly $14 million under the new cap, although no one actually knows what their cap status is because it is impossible to find out. Every now and then it seems like ESPN's John Clayton has an in, but he seems to be only slightly more educated with his guesses. As I recall, the Eagles made a few contract extensions during the year (Westbrook, Akers) which used up most if not all of their available space. This has been their normal course of action and one of the happenings most often misunderstood by fans screaming about our wasted cap dollars.

What is always an important day for big-name players to be released should take on a monumental stature this year with the cap far lower than expected, resulting in talented and maybe even young players up for grabs. Rumor mills, which are about as accurate as a weather forecast, have the Eagles targeting a handful of top-notch o-linemen, including the Jets' Kevin Mawae and New Orleans' LeCharles Bentley.

Get out your umbrellas and ponchos, because the chopping block is out and heads are gonna fly. If you've got one of those Gordon's fisherman costumes put that on too, and don't forget the hat.

This was no Miracle

The dream is over.

Not that there ever was one, really, but it's still over. We couldn't score when we held the other team to less than 5 goals, and when we scored more than 3, we couldn't hold them to less than 3. All in all, an abysmal performance. No one expected anything great, or even good, but I think we all expected passable. Passable is not what happened.

So what does need to happen? We need more Canadians to move to the USA. It's as simple as that. Brett Hull is Canadian, but he became a citizen of our fair country, probably because he felt bad for us. Peter Forsberg, Ilya Kovalchuk, Evgeni Nabokov, we will welcome you with open arms. We don't care if you can't really speak English, and we all know you love it in our country. I'll even mail you the requisite forms. Move to the American suburbs, put your kids in good schools, pay your taxes. Cheeseburgers and french fries will be included.

Just look how we've accepted other foreigners, athletes and otherwise. All Cuban baseball players love it here. The Shah of Iran felt at home. You'll love it, I swear.

Oh, and we need you to piss in this cup on your way out

Before looking at any trade possibilities with your team, it's important that you first identify which players you will stubbornly refer to as untradeable, that is, until a deal comes along so tempting that you can't help but swap your franchise player for Luol Deng and two first-round picks. For our purposes, the only players I considered untouchable (until I ran out of other ideas) were Allen Iverson and Shavlik Randoph. If you read this site with at least bi-weekly frequency, this should be approximately as surprising as finding out that the Chinese eat a lot of rice and there's a small faction in the Middle East who don't think that Americans are where it's at. All of the following trades work under ESPN's "Trade Machine," which I encourage everyone to visit and propose your own nonsense.

The Monster Mash
Trade #1: Kevin Garnett and Rashad McCants for Andre Iguodala, Samuel Dalembert, and Jamal Mashburn. One thing this trade has going for it is that it makes sense for both things. As you will soon see, this is not a prerequisite for most trades, and in fact cannot be the case if you expect to make a trade with Isiah Thomas. Minnesota gets to dump Garnett's contract and start over, and we get a monster talent and another monster contract. Rashad's not making many friends up north, and you can't trade 3 for 1, so he gets a nice new jersey as well. A recurring theme you'll see in a few of these trades is Jamal Mashburn, who you previously thought was on a beach sipping fruity umbrella drinks and trying not to make babies. Well, he probably is, but he's also on our payroll, and his $10 million dollar expiring contract is a hot commodity in the land of the lost GM.

Trade #2: Paul Pierce for Johnny Salmons and Jamal Mashburn. Similar to the previous trade, Boston dumps talent and a contract for two expiring contracts. Bonus for them in that they don't have to knit a new jersey for Mash, although he may drop by for a few pairs of sweats. Another solid move for the Sixers. May be tough considering that last year the Celtics turned down Pierce for Dalembert and Iguodala. But in the words of Ed Wade, "What do I know?"

Trade #3: Jesus Shuttlesworth and Robert Swift for Lee Nailon, Jamal Mashburn, John Salmons, and Michael Bradley (aka. all of our expiring contracts except Shavlik). In case I didn't present enough talent for contract swaps, here's another going our way. This one's even more fun because we get a superstar and a box-office draw in one deal, and he comes with his own personal butler.

Fun with Isiah
Steven Hunter and Michael Bradley for Channing frye, Trevor Ariza, and David Lee. It was only a matter of time and space before I got to a trade with the Knicks, and here it is. New York gets a couple of expiring contracts and rids themselves of dreaded talented players that Larry Brown would ultimately squander before leaving skidmarks out of town. The only problem with this deal is...

When Isiah signed on as the Knicks GM, there was a provision in his contract that he couldn't make any trades that didn't take on an awful contract and handcuff the team for at least the next two years. So we'll throw in Chris Webber and take back Penny Hardaway's expiring contract and you've got a blockbuster deal. The Sixers get young talent, the Knicks get another power forward with bad knees and a worse contract, and everyone's happy. If the Knicks hadn't traded away their draft picks I would have thrown those in here too.

The Truth
Trade #1: Kevin Ollie and John Salmons for Marko Jaric. Billy King thinks that he's getting a big point to play aside Allen, but he's actually trading two minute eaters for one turnover machine.

Trade #2: Billy King trades his bear claw and decaf coffee to Elgin Baylor for two packs of sugar (refined) and the rights to a cheese danish (lottery protected) in 2009.

Just for kicks, let's bust some blocks
Trade #1: The entire Sixers roster except Dalembert and Louis Williams (don't ask) for the entire Detroit Pistons roster except Kelvin Cato and Tayshaun Prince (more on this next week).

Trade #2: Allen Iverson and Shavlik Randolph for The Mamba, Luke Walton, and 23,000 barf bags.

Next year, Shavlik Randolph

So the All-Star game was actually decent.

Well, let's rephrase that. It didn't suck.

Ok let's rephrase that again. The game between the Detroit Pistons (with a sweet bench) and the Western Conference All-Stars didn't suck. Lebron played like Kobe last year and refused to pass. No one would give the ball to Gasol or Yao for who knows what reason. That actually really pissed me off. Instead of watching T-mac jack up 20 3's, why not pass the ball underneath, to his TEAMMATE. But whatever. When Kobe blocked Shaq and rubbed it in the big man's face, I thought Shaq might pop his head off, but he's a classy guy, and just went to the line and threw some awful shots at the general area of the rim.

Good stuff? There were some good dunks. The East, I mean Pistons, actually played real defense. The game came down to the final seconds of play. Tony Parker didn't play much. I had visions of Iguodala's behind the backboard (what do you even call that?) dunk still flashing through my head.

So, it wasn't bad. It wasn't good either, but it wasn't bad.

It's Faaaantastic!

Remember when you were a kid and you would take apart your radio and then try to put it together again, maybe with a few rad decals? Well it just goes to show you that all those "if it ain't broke don't fix it" people are completely afuera de sus cabezas. Fixing stuff that isn't broken is always great, and it saves you the time and energy of arguing about whether something is broken in the first place. Here are eight changes for this weekend's NBA All Star game, as recommended by the green bleeder staff and friends. As always, consider yourself encouraged to toss in any ideas of your own.

Bring Back the Mascot Dunk Contest
Start off with a total no brainer. You can't beat the Phoenix Gorilla soaring eighteen feet for a triple front flip twice through the legs power slam. If nothing else, it's a great event to add to your list of things you've gambled on, right next to computer simulations of Madden.

Then Leave the Trampolines on the Court
For the first five minutes of the second half. Ladies and Gentlemen, start your insurance premiums. Anyone want to take bets on whether or not Vince could clear the backboard off a trampoline? Three-point dunk? Sky's the limit here, literally.

$5 Million to the Dunk Contest Winner
This idea didn't start with me, but I'm more than happy to give it fresh legs. While extra cash might not bring in some of the big big names, it'll certainly get top effort out of a few rookies "scraping by" on $600,000 a year. Drag in Nike and Reebok, hike the price up to $20 mil, and see if LeBron doesn't lace em up. It would also be nice to see a few guys try to come out of retirement to compete.

Half-court shootout to settle any controversies
Jump Ball? Half court shootout. Flagrant Foul? Half court shootout. Who has to pay alimony to that groupie someone on Seattle got pregnant last month? Half court shootout.

Captains
Take the top two vote getters, put them at half court, and have them pick their teams schoolyard-style. I figure they'll start with the premiers, grab a couple bigs, then make sure you get the mega close-up when Pau Gasol gets picked last. Although you could make a strong case for Kobe as the caboose.

Mamba Said There'd be Days Like This
This one's up to the players, but nothing would be better than giving Kobe 48 minutes of "fat kid with the rec-specs" freeze-out time. Keep him on the court, keep letting him yell and hold up his hands, and keep feeding it to McGrady and Duncan. Could he make it through the first half without punching Tony Parker in the kidney, stealing the ball, and climbing all over Yao for the slam?

Bring in Some Rock n Jock Provisions
But not Dan Cortese, unless he's wearing a tux and playing 'Jolly Green Giant' on a grand piano. But definitely add in the 10 point shot and the twenty-five foot high basket. But again, no Justin Timberlake, and absolutely no Dean Cain. I'd listen to arguments for Dr. Dre and Ed Lover, but they'd have to be strong and well-articulated.

All-Star Zebras
How about a ref trio of Bill Laimbeer, Ron Artest, and Charles Oakley. I might be amenable to giving Kobe the ball if we had these guys in stripes.

USA USA USA USA

I love the Winter Olympics. I like the summer games, but I really prefer winter, for a few reasons. A) Hockey, B) Hockey, C) Hockey, D) luge/curling/skiing/all the other business.

So I'm enjoying this week and next, watching the USA do it's best to make everyone hate us for even more reasons. So far it's all been pretty exciting. Luge is crazy, curling is hilarious, women's hockey was entertaining. Downhill skiing remains totally insane and awe-inspiring. Freestyle skiing has literally become twice as good as last olympics.

But really what I want to see is hockey. This is the world cup of hockey. I want to watch Flyers players on international teams, and I want to watch Team USA try to put something together (disregard that tie game yesterday, and chalk it up to jet lag). Ken Hitchcock coaching the Canadian women was truly hilarious to me for some reason, as I can picture him somehow offending everyone in the locker room. In fact, it's just hilarious picturing him in a women's locker room in general. Then again, he's an assistant for the Canadian men's team, so maybe he saved it for the guys.

In all seriousness though, this might be some of the worst sports coverage I've ever witnessed. Granted, many of the sports in the winter olympics are slightly....well, let's say "eccentric," having a color guy who doesn't know the rules or parameters or participants in an event really makes for bad commentary. I'd rather watch and listen to the sounds of the game than listen to some jackass expound on what little he knows about it.

Turn Back the Clock

"He'd be perfect for us. Perfect. The thing I like about kids like this is they only have one agenda, and that's to play.”
-Jon Barry

And that's how it began. A scrappy, eighteen year old Serbian seven-footer with a dream. A dream to play 553 minutes over three and one half seasons. A dream to practice with the best team in the league and keep the bench warm for a roster of consisting of six all-stars and a Finals MVP. A dream to be a champion.

"That kid can play. Too bad he can't suit up tonight."
-Richard Hamilton on Darko

That's right Rip, it is too bad. It's too bad that Larry Brown, the master of nonsense lineup shuffles, couldn't find court time for a player with so much upside, length, and dynamacy.

"He is quick, with a great understanding of the game (he is smart as a fox)"
-NBA Draftnet

Well, perhaps we have underestimated his sneakiness. One of the things that remains about Darko is that he is still a relative unknown in the league. We know a bit about what he can contribute to garbage time, take for example his line from the January 14th game vs. Chicago: 6 minutes, 0-0 shooting, 1 board, 3 assists (nice), and 2 fouls. He may be smart, but he's no Shavlik Randolph. Frankly, I doubt Darko has ever considered robbing a Miller truck. Fortunately, the Pistons did a solid job of showcasing young Darko over the past two months, where he put together 6-7 from the floor in a stratospheric 25 minutes.

"That's a freak of nature right there”
-Joe Dumars on Darko

And Joe stands by that to this day. Good thing, because it's tough to squeeze a first round pick out of Orlando without tremendous PR. Have fun with Stevie, you could be the next Cuttino Mobley. Or the next Christian Laettner, if you play your cards right.

It's too early to pass judgment on the trade, but whether you love Darko or you love to laugh at him, this is a boon for his minutes. So the fans win big, which is a first in Orlando. As for the Pistons, I think it's tough to sleight them given they won a championship and made it to another. Give them a player with known talent (Wade, Carmelo, Bosh- your pick), could they have done much better? It's difficult to imagine Larry giving any of these guys run, and in the end maybe the fans and the league would have been worse off for missing out on player who's position the league tailors to. Maybe Dave Stern and Paul Tagliabue got together and said "things are going okay, but what we'd really like is if we could skew the rules completely in favor of shooting guards and wide receivers." You know, take the most athletic players on the field, then make things a little easier for them. Interesting that the rule in both sports is approximately "a penalty should be assessed if the defender considers thinking about impeding the progress of the stronger, faster offensive player.

How does it end for Darko? As Joe Dumars says: "Darko is a young player and I think he's going to get an opportunity to play," which is more than he ever had in Detroit. However the dice fall for Milicic, here's to hoping that he doesn't do much to spoil one of the best nicknames of the modern era, "The human victory cigar." Smoke em if you got em, Detroit.

Dude, Where's Your Defense?

Fact #1: Kyle fills it
The fact that Kyle is our greatest three point threat since Dana Barros made a deal with the devil during the 94-95 season is indisputable. It's also a ton of fun. Great teams have players with well-defined roles. Mediocre teams have players with well-defined roles like "has long hair and wet jumper."

Fact #2: Whoever Kyle is guarding fills it; hard
This is also tough to argue, but it has more gravity that the obvious first point. Kyle's defensive shortcomings are numerous and well documented. He has trouble with quicker two-guards and can't muscle up with powerful threes. He can be taken off the dribble, but with Violet Palmer around, who can't?

Fact #3: He fits the team
If your team identity is based around winning scoring battles, there's nothing wrong with having a wingman who can't do anything but shoot. In fact, he's exactly what we need. If he was lighting it up in Denver, and we had Salmons and Webber bricking 25 footers all game, fans would be lined up at Billy King's door begging for a shooter. He's instant offense and that might be enough.

Fact #4: Iverson trusts him
He still wants the ball in his hands with the clock winding down, but he might be the only player on the club that Allen doesn't mind dishing to when he picks up a triple-team. The fact that Allen believes in him cannot be understated.

Fact #5: Stats
According to ESPN's John Hollinger, Kyle's numbers are below the league average, which is not surprising, and he is most similar at his age to Jumaine Jones, which makes no sense at all. His individual stats on 82games.com cast him as a slight contributor, with a net of .4 points per 100 possessions. But the real explanation of Kyle's worth comes through the team statistics. Of the Sixers top ten 5 man units, Kyle and Allen are the only players who appear in all six of the units with a winning record. (No surprise that the top unit is Iverson-Iguodala-Korver-Randolph-Webber, a unit which has only received 44 total minutes this year).

Which of these is important? Taking into account his ability to smash open threes, probably his most valuable asset is the faith that Allen has in him. Accepting the fact that this team isn't going to play much defense with or without Kyle, you've gotta be happy to have him aboard in any capacity. Misuse of talent is Mo's problem and while he's not going to win many (ok, any) one-on-one tournaments, Kyle is an invaluable contributor to this team.

Gotta Have It: The First Block King of Africa

Not twenty, not fifty, but one hundred and forty-three Manute Bol basketball cards can be yours if you get your act together quick. That's 41+ feet of Manute action! You could line them up on the wall and make five and a half Manute towers! Imagine the possibilites. If you're worried that shipping to France might be too expensive, relax, it's covered in the Q&A session following the description. Whew.

Hypothetical: Ice Fight!

In the near corner, wearing black and gold trunks, standing six feet, two inches and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Bedford, Indiana...Donald Brashear! And in the far corner, wearing black trunks with dried bloodstains, standing five feet eleven and one-half inches, weighing in at 239 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York..."Iron" Mike Tyson.

We'll fight at the Spectrum, center ice, with both fighters wearing skates. Initally this seems like another Tyson blowout, but greasing the sheet really throws a wrench into things. I think Mike struggles mightily in the early rounds, but finds his footing and prevails with a TKO in the 7th.

If the cold weather's getting you down, feel free to raise the temperature 40 or 50 degrees and take this one on: Mike Tyson versus Michael Phelps in the deep end of the pool, with no side touching allowed. (I've got Tyson with a first-round disembowlment)

Q&A:

Q: Gloves? Hockey or Boxing?
A: Hockey gloves, which will be thrown off at the onset of the fight

Q: Who's doing the promotion? This will decide how long into the fight Tyson takes a dive.
A: My set up wasn't a true Pay-per-view event, more of an organized streetfight. On ice.

Q: As far as the Phelps battle, how big is the deep end?
A: For this one, I conceptualized an endless pool. I'm starting to see that this could lead to a "fight flight" issue, so let's now assume that it's a square pool, 15 yards on each side.