Thursday, February 2


Let's get right to the point. Post-Football Depression, or PFD as I like to call it has already set in. There are of course many factors leading to this. Our season has been over for months, and this year's superbowl is downright sickening. The standard bye week has given us green bleeders even more time to remember last year. Wasn't it great? Remember that feeling when we lost? YEAH!

The Seahawks have always irked me. They have been copying our uniforms for years, and their mascot is a product of complete fabrication (although I'd take a Seahawk a million times before I took Hip-Hop). Their coach is a mirror image of ours as well. Holmgren has in fact taught Andy everything he knows: The west coast offense, the intimidating mustache, and the portly stature (alright maybe Andy got that last one on his own). Let's move onto Matty Hasslebeck. The Favre comparisons are starting to pile up (YAY!). Favre won the big one in his fifth year with Holmgren, and this is Matty's 5th year with Holmgren. Seattle also couldn't be farther away from here. I don't know anyone there, and I don't know any Seahawk fan's, I can't name half their starters. They are the ultimate "blah" team. Who cares about the Seahawks? Not me.

From my perspective, the Steelers are the foil to the Seahawks, the Chris Farley to the Seahawk's David Spade. EVERYONE (including secretary of state Condoleeza Rice) likes them to win and also to cover the 4. Well I don't. Screw Rice, screw Cowher, screw Bettis, screw those green high school jerseys, screw Polamalu and his hair, screw Big Ben (you think he knows it's just a drill?), and most of all screw the thousands of Steelers fans I went to college with. Honestly, I always liked the Steelers. Anyone who has played me in Madden knows how I feel about running the ball. I badly wish the Eagles would adopt a power running philosophy. And six years ago I might have rooted for them in the superbowl. But after spending the better part of a decade in central Pennsylvania, in close quarters with a multitude of Steelers fans I can't do it. I wished we could have played them last year, it would have been fun. But year after year I would walk down the street on Sunday in various Eagles jerseys, getting obscenities hurled at me drive-by style. Classy.

The bottom line is, I am bitter. Very very bitter. The Steelers are so damn happy to be there it makes me sick. And we all know that if misery loves one thing, it's company. I want to see Bettis answer this question, "Jerome, we all know you wanted to go out on top, that didn't happen. Are you still prepared to hang them up?" I don't want to see Steelers fans celebrating in State College. I want to call up my buddies from the steel city after the game with a smile on my face saying "Sorry buddy, I know how it feels." And then this atrocity of a season will be over, and PFD can continue on as scheduled.

Seahawks in an upset, 34 - 24.


lucy flawless said...

hal, i'm not going to lie. i like the seahawks uniform and logo. in fact, i love it. it's northwest american indian art, for chrissakes. it's lovely. it's an actual tribute to native art. and it's aesthetically pleasing. i mean, come on, compare the seahawks logo to, for eample, the redskins logo. this is one of the reasons i HATE the redskins and have a special feeling for the seahawks. if i were from washington state, i'd wear that logo proudly. i'm not from washington though, so don't worry about me liking the seahawks TOO much. i just like them way better than most nfl organizations out there.

lucy flawless said...

my bad. apparently james wrote this article, not hal.

james, i don't even know you.
i'm sorry.


Hal said...

no need for apologies lucy, countering opinions of people you don't know is the quintessence of the internet.

Anonymous said...

Oh James, you know deep down you are jealous of our amazing football team. Why fight the crowd? We're going to win and even you can't agree with your own article. Be prepared to wear Ben's jersey.

Anonymous said...

No chance in hell you are ripping the Steelers fans, or any fans for that matter. Everyone knows that Philly is in close competition with Boston for the coveted "Fans that most make you want to stab yourself in the eye" title. I once saw a man who had to be restrained from beating up a college student in line at Pat's. What was his offense you ask? He was wearing a University of Pittsburgh hat. That prompted a very philosophical debate that went something like this: Where were you when I was in the Super Bowl, that's right, you were sitting at home, I'll kick your ass you fag*ot. Ah Philly, always classy. Seahawks by 3.
Love Jack